Welcome to the Insight outline of sexual hunters from the perspective of myself and other Victims and Survivors.
I began this outline because I couldn’t find the answer to my question, Who Are Sexual Predators?
The following information is my opinion, based on
• My first-hand experiences
• Talking with other Victims and Survivors
• Study and research
• Interviewing a few predators, I identified from listening to conversations and piecing together behaviours and responses to allegations like a jigsaw. Some threatened me, others were flattered I’d noticed how clever they were, or concerned I’d recognised their planning, entrapment and get out of jail free defence.
My aim is to develop this incomplete outline with the help of other Victims and Survivors into a tool to for everyone to use, to better understand predators, and where possible, identify and avoid them. If you would like to help fill in the gaps and share your story please email me on firstname.lastname@example.org. Please include your permission for me to publish your information on www.michelleinsight.com.au.
Sexual Predators Categories
This predator is a stranger. The assault is often referred to as a ‘true rape’. Victims are more likely to report this type of sexual assault because they often have evidence, and they can’t be convinced it was their fault.
Garden Variety Sexual Predator:
In my experience, these serial sexual predators are the most dangerous because they commit the greatest percentage of sexual assaults and don’t tend to be reported, charged or found guilty at trial. They are known directly or indirectly to their victims.
This predator cunningly uses constructed sexual assault scenarios to confuse their victim and rely on current sexual assault culture to protect them, leaving them free to continue assaulting without consequence.
For example, predators blame their victims or convinces them they consented because they didn’t say “STOP” or “NO”, they didn’t fight or sent the wrong message, like being flirty. There is more on this in my book Insight – Up Close and Personal Profile of Sexual Assault.
Paedophiles are men and women either:
• Born with an unnatural love of children (Kitching, 2019)
• Alternatively, they can evolve because of their own traumatic childhood experience.
Paedophiles have emotional and physical sexual needs of children around a certain age.
Kitching, C. (2019). Paedophiles are born – not made – and nothing can change them, study finds. Retrieved from Mirror:
The Abuser (Male/Female)
Research appears to identify Male Abusers develop through life experience, such as being victims of childhood sexual assault or having inferiority complexes and masculinity issues from childhood. There also appears to be a link between porn and sexual assault acceptance.
Many Female Abusers I’ve spoken with claimed they were sexually assaulted. Further, in my limited ability to research this group it appears some have inferiority complexes or identity issues. All denied they raped men, stating: “You can’t rape the willing.” Incorrectly, an erect penis was their permission, although some admitted the men didn’t want to have sex with them.
The following compilation, within the above categories, is limited to those predators I’ve learnt about, been exposed to or experienced. I will add to this list as Victims and Survivors add their stories.
The senior relative assaulted me around 5-years of age. He was always outside looking after the children. Everyone loved the senior relative, even some of his victims I’ve spoken to, because they were too young to understand. I watched him sexually assault children while adults were around and unaware.
I’ve spoken to many women whose fathers have abused them and, in many cases, mum didn’t believe them. These women struggled with issues, such as unhealthy sexual relationships in adult life, and, struggled with overeating, risky adolescent behaviour, promiscuity, multiple marriages, domestic violence relationships, drinking and adult bulimia.
The world of a lovely lady I know feel apart when she innocently read a text sent to her fiancé from his older teenage daughter. The daughter was distressed because her father was no longer interested in her sexually. The daughter was jealous of this lovely lady’s daughter, then in her young teenage years, because she knew her father was only getting married to have access to the daughter. Earlier texts showing images of father and daughter being sexually intimate was all the proof needed. This lovely lady left the relationship. Suffering trauma at having nearly married a paedophile she fell into a domestic violence relationship which saw her leave her job and become isolated from family and friends. After leaving him she listened to good advice and received counselling. In her mid-50’s I’m happy to say several years after leaving the abusive relationship she is living in her own home and starting a permanent full-time position.
Sibling assault is another form of incest. I’ve met many men and women whose older brothers have sexually assaulted them. Others were sexually abused by a friend’s older brother. One of these men went on to sexually assault me.
Abduction, Imprisonment and Programming:
I have experienced one attempted abduction. The police visited my primary school, showing a red light green light movie and telling us what to say if someone tries to get us into their car. That afternoon I was confronted with the very scenario they had spoken about while walking home from school. A stranger pulled up on the side of the road and told me my mum had been hurt and taken to hospital. He told me I was to go with him. Like a parrot I repeated: “That’s my mum there,” pointing to an oncoming car. He drove off, gravel flying, and I was safe.
In her book Scared Selfless Michelle Steven’s shares her story about this type of abuser. Michelle describes a cunning, cold, violent paedophile who held her for a weekend of controlled programming through fear conditioning, using physical violence. He formed a live-in relationship with her mother while assaulting and prostituting Michelle for years. I highly recommend this book.
Michelle Stevens, P. (2017). Scared Selfless My Journey from Abuse and Madness to Surviving and Thriving. New York: G. P. Putnam’s Sons.
I met a lovely lady who almost fell into the trap of a master manipulator using programmed partners to access ‘Swap’ meets. After meeting him on holiday he dutifully kept in touch, grooming her for months. He ticked all her boxes and then some. On a visit to his hometown, she accepted his marriage proposal and his mum hosted a street party to celebrate their engagement. On returning home she received holiday shots of him with other women, just friends, creating a need in her to please him, to keep him. When he came for a visit, he demanded she set up a partner swap dinner. Fortunately, she had the strength to refuse. After his departure paid-in-full, pre-ordered flowers started arriving. He’d been so sure of himself; he’d executed the next level of his grooming routine.
A self-proclaimed Guru manipulated a woman in her 20s trapping her in his mental and emotional programming. Despite finding her Guru physically revolting she was afraid to live without her Guru taking herbs to enable her to have sex with him.
During a guided mediation, a universal Guru suggested I have sex with him to share his knowledge on the physical plane through his seed. His suggestive technique was almost hypnotic. I never worked with him again. I know one girl he totally controlled. In my opinion, through isolation he imprisoned her in their home. She was dependent on him for her existence. He used Guru nonsense to isolate her from friends and family.
Forced sex within marriage is also sexual assault.
A classic (stranger) paedophile assaulted me.
In the dead of night, eight-year-old me opened my sleepy eyes to a stranger’s black hair, his mouth latched onto my tiny breast and his finger hurting my inside girl parts. As I awoke my mind registered, I was in my bed, it was dark, and this stranger was kissing me, touching my breast and hurting me inside; his heavy breathing and the stink of his excitement assaulted my senses. Lying in my bed paralyzed, confused and scared, I woke fully.
He said he was in the wrong room and asked where the bathroom was. Eight-year-old me, in shock, told him it was on the other side of the hallway to my bedroom. He left the room. Fully awake and fighting through the confusion, my heart stopped, fear seized me; I saw him peeking at me through the gap the hinges make between the door and the doorframe.
Smiling, he calmly came back into the room, asked where our borders room was. I told him where it was. He told terrified me, if I showed him where the room was, he would leave me alone. I really wanted him to leave me alone, so I showed him. Standing on the back porch pointing to the white door at the far end of the shed I realized he was standing in the doorway, blocking my path to safety.
In the years following the senior relative’s assault Mum had told me about sex. Standing there looking at this stranger it hit me, he wasn’t going to let me go. He was going to put his penis inside me, and I didn’t want him to do that. I ran screaming “Help”. Despite him being a grown man, around 20 years of age, I ran around the house ten times before he caught me. He carried me over his shoulder, like a sack of potatoes, to our border’s isolated bedroom.
He put me down in front of the single bed. He was standing in front of me smiling; he stank like the senior relative had when he was assaulting me. I remember thinking, I know what he is going to do, and how I was going to get away. Standing in-front of the Stranger, the bed at my back, his legs apart in an ‘A’ shape, I waited until he undid his jeans and as he was pulling them down, momentarily immobilized, I dove between his legs and ran. I didn’t look back, however, I could hear him right behind me. Slamming the glass sliding door and locking it, we came face to face (More detailed explanation in Insight – Up Close and Personal Profile of Sexual Assault).
The silent stalker. Following an Icehouse concert in the university town of Palmerston North, New Zealand, three hours’ drive from my hometown, I got a shock. At a party I started talking to a man from my hometown I’d never met or seen before. He’d been stalking me. He told me his favourite outfits from my wardrobe and where I’d worn them. He knew so much about my everyday life and seemed to think we were friends. We’d eaten at the same cafes, at the same time, and he had ordered the same sandwiches. I hadn’t noticed him. I was lucky it didn’t go further; however, I know of situations where it did. Never underestimate stalking.
Acquaintances are also strangers. My eldest told me while sharing notes with a boy on the periphery of her group, he pressed his chest up against her, his body crushing her arm and stroked her hand. She told him: “Stop touching my hand get off.” He kept doing it saying, “You’re the first person to realise what I’m doing.” She got up and walked away.
The following examples are Garden Variety assaults.
I’ve never been pack raped; however, I’ve walked in on one about to start. The Victim had been drugged. The reasonably sober Pack were keen to get rid of me, however, I stayed the afternoon, until the female occupants came home and the victim-to-be became coherent. I spoke with each man individually about what they had setup and planned. They all individually justified their involvement citing her promiscuous behaviour and past unsavoury associations as consent.
On a 1987 Friday night train trip at about 8:30 p.m. into Sydney, Australia, slumped down in my seat, snoozing, a group of hyped-up young teenage boys came into my carriage. They were jumping over seats and high fiving each other. I overheard this like-minded group celebrating the execution of a carefully constructed pack rape. Their victim, “the stupid bitch”, was known to them. They were celebrating how they had convinced her “she wanted it” and they “really liked her … hahaha”. On realising I was there they came over to me, surrounded me and talked to me. Terrified, I pretended to be deeply asleep. They moved on to another carriage. Asleep I was no threat and I wasn’t their Victim type.
In my book, Insight – Up Close and Personal Profile of Sexual Assault I review the pack assault of a very brave woman, Emilia di Girolamo, who has published her gang rape experience in the Guardian. In my opinion it’s a of very good example of how a pack of like-minded men groomed and pack assault an innocent young girl lacking understanding of sexual assault and sexual predators.
Girolamo, E. d. (2003, October 20). I was 14 when I was gang raped. Retrieved from The Guardian:
Shortly after ending a relationship I had sex with an ex-boyfriend. From that point he proceeded to stalk me for many months despite being told I wasn’t interested. He’d turn up standing beside me on the dance floor of clubs and visited my friends telling them how much he cared for me. One night uninvited he turned up at my birthday party. He wasn’t allowed in, however, I was upset and had a few to many. I remember everything up until I walked outside for a breath of air with friends. Then I remember waking up in my bed badly bruised especially around my inner thighs and intimate area, and, I had a very sore throat.
I’d been found hysterical in a ditch, clothes torn, saying the ex-boyfriend had raped me. Until transforming into a survivor I experienced on-going flashbacks where I had a sense of being trapped or restricted in some way unable to move
and I felt I was being choked unable to breathe. During the flashbacks I would freeze unable to move until it passed.
He was supported and I was told because I’d had sex once right after I had ended the relationship, him raping me a great number of months later was because he thought I wanted it. After months of stalking me and being ignored or told to “Leave me alone”, I’m sure he knew I didn’t want to have sex with him. Having visited my friend group, with his ‘poor me’ story of confusion, some considered it my fault. He continued to stalk me until I became intimate with a friend of his. No, we didn’t have sex, however, it had been my intention to do so as I was desperate to stop the stalking. The appearance of having had sex stopped the stalking.
I spoke with a vibrant warm caring woman in her thirties whose ex-boyfriend kidnapped her at a party imprisoning her in his wardrobe for a weekend of rape regardless her family reporting her missing. She attempted in vain to have him prosecuted.
The Ex of another woman I spoke with imprisoned and raped her in own apartment. Over a weekend the Ex told friends they were getting back together. When confronted about it later in-front of his friends he said she shouldn’t have sour grapes because it hadn’t worked out and that she always liked it rough. He was never reported.
This outline includes all professionals
As a 12- year old child I had to argue with a fill-in doctor at our medical centre who wanted to give me an internal examination for a sore throat. He told me to take off my underwear and get up on the examination bed. When I refused, he became very insistent, however, I continued to refuse. Unsuccessful in persuading me he looked at my throat and prescribed me antibiotics.
A medicolegal doctor who fondled my breast and attempted to force further sexual acts on me was shielded because according to Police: “It was an insurance matter.” I learnt this doctor was well-known within the medicolegal field and work-cover clients for committing acts of sexual abuse on medicolegal clients. One woman told me during his assessment of her he had fondled her breast and then forced his penis into her mouth and satisfied himself.
Black Widows – Female Predators:
Black Widow 1 – Pedophiles:
I spoke with a teenage girl whose father’s girlfriend had recently gone into the girl’s bedroom and had sexually assaulted her while the father was asleep. Dad didn’t believe her.
Black Widow 2:
1. Female predators I’ve identified and spoken with admitted having been sexually assaulted in childhood or teenage years.
2. Women who assault out of jealousy. For example, one Widow, jealous of a mutual friend, manipulated situations to have sex with men showing interest in our friend. One man described he was made to feel obliged to help her home after bumping into her late one evening. He said she asked for his help because she was drunk. He said she wanted him to take her to her bedroom. He refused. He helped her into the lounge, where she fell on him, pushing him on the sofa. She had her hand down his pants before he could blink. She then unzipped him and raped him. He hadn’t wanted to have sex with her and had told her to stop. Because of his erection he didn’t realize he had been rape. In retelling his experience, he was obviously upset and traumatized.
All the Widows I’ve spoken with told me you can’t rape the willing with some admitting they knew the men didn’t want sex with them.
Sexual arousal doesn’t mean consent.
Black Widow 3:
These Widows prey on happy relationships where the wife is the target because she stands out, such as being popular, beautiful, successful in some way. These cunning predators are usually married and virtually invisible. Having befriended the wives, they find vulnerability in the husbands/partners and form a nurturing compassionate friendship with them. This Widow rapes the man, manipulates the men suffering from trauma into an unwanted guilt affair for several months before telling the wife.
Mental Illness and Sexual Assault
My personal experience and knowledge is limited to one event. I was sitting in the witness box giving testimony in a matter between Adult A who has been identified as having a significant mental illness and Adult B. I was asked a question that horrified me. I was asked me if I knew the details of the following incident: In short, to the best of my ability male primary-school-aged Child A attempted to get male primary-school-aged Child B to take off his clothes and kiss Child A in the genital area while Child A video recorded the act. I was shocked. After discussion with Adult B and Adult C, and subsequently hearing about Adult D’s testimony, I learnt how Adult A and D were using Child A to disrupt Adult B and Adult C’s home life. I made a police report. Police agreed Adult A and D had committed acts of child abuse including abuse of a sexual nature. Police took no action. They transferred the matter to the Queensland Department of Child Safety (DOCS) who took no action.
A Shade of Grey
I wouldn’t directly classify these men as Hunters because it doesn’t appear they intended to rape, however, their assumption led to them raping women. Ignorance is no excuse. There is no grey, the trauma for the victim is the same. It’s either consensual sex or it’s sexual assault.
For example, I was talking to a chap I hadn’t seen for a while. He told me he had been in jail for rape. He told me he was so used to women throwing themselves at him he didn’t confirm consent. He knew despite them being intimate in his bed he should have ask if she wanted to sex and checked her age. She was underage. He accepted responsibility and spent a short term in jail.
Another example is when a drunk friend left a party to go for a swim in the ocean. My friends and I split up to look for him. A chap I knew decided to tag along and help me search. I told him I didn’t need him. This chap was used to women being interested in him. Before I knew it I found myself on my back pinned under his body in the sand. I told him I didn’t want to have sex with him. He asked me why not. I told him I didn’t and that he didn’t want to have sex with me. He asked why don’t I? I told him he didn’t like me that way. He helped me up and we went in search of my friend, who was safely asleep in the car. The chap didn’t ask for consent and if I’d gone into Freeze, he would have raped me. I saved the chap from raping me and from that time on he thanked me by hating me.